“before writing a single line of code I needed 10 events with an actual date with an actual commitment that they would like to try using out the product Having a commitment to actually use at an event where you have your friends your family your loved ones there we thought that was already a big enough commitment that it was almost proxy to a payment”

Set a commitment metric — refuse to code until prospects pre-commit usage

Pick one specific number that proves real intent — not signups, not interest, but committed usage. For Once it was 10 confirmed event hosts with dates on the calendar who would put their wedding or birthday party on an unbuilt app. That commitment is functionally a pre-payment of trust. Set the number, give yourself a deadline, and refuse to start coding until both are met.